Death is as real as Life itself

She's gone.

She's just gone.

I sat on a chair beside her in the early morning hours. I was whispering, reciting the Al-Fatihah and Ayat Kursi over and over again. She was on the bed, looking calm and serene. She looked like she was sleeping.

But, she wasn't. There was no visible movements. Her chest didn't rise and fall in rhythm. A white translucent cloth covered her face. She smelled of a different kind of perfume, something she rarely wore.

She left us. She left me. She wasn't here with me.

And I couldn't bring fresh tears to my eyes. I was just shock. And if I started sobbing, it was a dry sob.

I feel the sadness, but not the ultimate lost. I wished I had known her a lot more like my other older cousins. But, I did fear, I fear of this day since she had admitted into the hospital on the day of my UPU results were out.

I fear of losing my only grandmother.

I knew the day would come, but I didn't expect it to be the day before I fly to Korea.

I was right. This year will be a hard year.

But, for some reason, I am ready for it.

My grandmother is an inspiring figure to my family. I will remember the short and few memories that I have with her. The time when she advice me so many things. The time when I helped her take wudu'. The times when I scratch her back. The times I salam her. The times I kissed her forehead.

The times when she smile sincerely to me.

I miss her.

My grandmother died Wednesday night on 31st January 2018 at 8.40 pm
May Allah bless her.

Al-Fatihah