Why do I listen to such a melancholy song when I am actually happy? Why does this sad song make me smile?
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| I think this is it...the view from the state of the university I got |
The UPU results is out today. In Malaysia, and if you're a Malaysian, you have to apply your bachelor's degree through UPU. So, they give you these 12 ungodly spaces to fill from hundreds of courses and universities in Malaysia. But, the list of universities and courses were only limited to public universities only.
So, on 12 o'clock today, the UPU server went down as would-be-first-years students like me checked the UPU website, anxious and excited to see what we got. Thank goodness, we can check the results through SMS or not, it will be a haywire for me to wait for the server to be okay again.
Out of all those horrifying 12 choices I put, I got my first choice. Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah. But, to tell you, that university I got was five hours away from my home. T.T
The group chats dinged and flurried in my phone. I was pumped to know what my friends, my ex-classmates, got too. As I checked them with a grin on my face, saying congratulations and good luck to those who I personal messaged them, I could feel the growing dread inside of me. And BAM.
She left the group.
And it crashed my heart to the ground.
So, I picked those bleeding pieces up one by one. And tried my best to glue it without telling anyone. I pulled myself away from the phone, trying to find something that could fix her back too.
And I know, I couldn't. I don't have anything.
So, I asked Him to help her. Because there is no one in this whole world could help her, except Him and herself. I told her if she needed the support, I'll be there for here, Insya Allah. But, at that time, I wondered if I was doing more harm than good.
I know I couldn't make everyone happy. There are times that I can and there are times that I can't. But, it make my heart wrench to see someone that I know is unhappy. I know it wasn't my fault, but I can't help it.
I have to leave it to the Almighty. Because He's alone that we worship, and He's alone that we seek help.
What does Yoe Mase have anything to do with this? XD
I fell in love with his music and it all started with 'Lonely.' I couldn't stop listening it. It brought joy to my heart even if that song was so melancholic. I was listening to it just a few moments ago to chase away the despair in myself.
Hey, to the people who is reading this, good luck with your life. Have a good day and smile always. Remember you are worth it. You are here for a reason. And to the people who got their UPU results, don't despair if you didn't get what you wanted. Remember that it is the best for you, Insya Allah.
Swiftly Estel-ing
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